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Birgit Fehst Relationships and other matters of the heart
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Life is relationships, the rest is just details…

says Gary Smalley. Right. That’s why I am a relationship trainer. The common term is couples therapist, but that implies the need for therapy. I am using it anyway, because that is probably what you were looking for on the internet.

Couple problems are normal

Relationship irritations, however, are completely normal in the relationship routine of all people, because unlike animals a human being can communicate even complicated facts to another person. This blessing in the evolution of mankind can be burden at the same time, because there is no law that forces us to always use the right words- so we don’t, and misunderstandings in communication can lead us into a direction where we never wanted to go.

Unlike all scientific findings and the law of modern mathematics, couples claim that when they are in love, ‚me and you’ become one. This “One-ness” dissolves when they realize that every person is an individual. So what happens when a person wants to master life together with another individual? Two personalities with different expectations, wishes and different styles of communication have to face the fact that daily stresses might demystify the former dream relationship.

What are the reasons for the problems in the daily life of a couple?

The reasons are often times stuck behavioral styles, patterns of thinking and consequences of childhood trauma, or worse: of the last relationship. And all that is independent of age, sexual orientation or cultural origin. What worked well while  being single or what worked well in the previous relationship can wear out your new partner. Then one word leads to another and all of a sudden, both have again developed behavioral patterns that turn into a vicious circle. Often times one single hurt can start this circle and you are not aware of it. It is a blind spot. You can’t see your blind spots (otherwise they weren’t blind). And that is why a person that looks at those patterns from the outside can more easily recognize and help to destroy them.

That kind of work can also help singles who don’t want to be single anymore, or those that just became one again against their own will. There is not pill against love sickness, but those who are ready to do something have the best chances of becoming happy again.

Call me: 030 854 01770, or use the contact form. I am looking forward to working with you!