Explosive couples counselling
Are you caught in an endless cycle of fights? Have you been disappointed so many times that you are afraid you will never be happy together again? Or is your sex life as exciting as doing your taxes?
My name is Birgit Fehst, I am a child from the late 60s and I have been there. And after I learned in a psychology class called “the science of love” in university that men and women are simply not capable of understanding each other I started to do my own research. In live, at school and in classes around the world. Do I know it all now? Certainly not. But if I had known 30 years ago what I know now my life would have taken a positive turn much earlier. Cause: the quality of your relationships defines the quality of your life….
As in that state of relationship emergency that you are in right now as well you might not have the patience to read pages over pages of text, let me give you the super condensed version of what you will get here: effective couples therapy is open communication. The German way, direct, no back door, no time for excuses, it is high time to spit it all out. So you can walk again soon. Out of the office and as a couple. Towards living a strong, harmonious and stable partnership. I work solution oriented and based on the latest research in neuroscience. Is that enough information for you? Then hit the red button now.
What can we expect when we come for couples therapy to your office?
If you do prefer to get more information, you are very welcome to continue reading. So what EXACTLY will you get in my office? I will help you to be happy again with your partner. We lay the groundwork for a good, strong, lively relationship full of love, passion and the feeling of security AND the ability to handle conflicts. The result will transform your life as it transforms your relationship. And to help you get that as soon as you want, I offer regular 90 minute sessions AND power sessions of three hours and even power days from 9 to 5. Those days work in a way that often times once is enough to get you back on track. Which form you choose is up to you. If you wish, I can advice you what is best in your case.
What are the most common reasons for couples therapy?
From experience I can say there are three main reasons for a couples therapy: infidelity, no sex anymore, or a vicious circle of endless fights and discussions that lead to nothing. They cannot communicate anymore without fighting. However, the missing or bad communication is not the reason for the relationship crisis, it is rather the main symptom of the original problem. To find out what the root cause will then be teamwork of the three of us.
Can I come all by myself?
Speaking about the three of us- yes, indeed, it can also be the two of us! We can clarify all sorts of things even without your partner: do I have unrealistic expectations? What did I do to make things complicated? Where is my partner a mirror for my own issues? How can I work on myself to become happier as a couple? If you would like more information, take a look at the section “individual therapy“. Because in that case it will be about you. Good thing.
Ho do we proceed?
We look for the source of your problem and at the same time change your way of communicating which will help you avoid future conflicts. That combination makes you feel more safe and secure with your partner again. Your needs are taken care of and your relationship can be as loving and appreciative as it was meant to be.
How long does the therapy take?
That depends. Most couples have a new code of conduct and a much better feeling after as few as 3-5 sessions. Some prefer a longer duration of counselling as it may feel better and more secure. There is no minimum number of sessions.
What are the costs?
Couples session 1,5 hours: 195 Euros
Individual session 1 hour: 130 Euros
Power session 3 hours: 380 Euros
Power day 9-5 (with lunch break): 900 Euros
Power day 9- open end: 1030 Euros
Coaching session 1 hour: 130 Euros plus VAT
Why should we see you and not a colleague of yours?
There are wonderful colleagues in Berlin for couple therapy. So I don’t claim to be the only one who can help you. And everyone has his own strengths. Mine are: my international trainings and- my mix of methods. There is not only one way to live and to love. Therefore there isn’t one approach that fits all. Your advantage is clear: an encompassing, systemic way of working supports you more than a single method can ever do, even in marriage counselling.
For example, I integrate the work of John Gottman in my sessions. He studied thousands of couples in his „Love Lab“ and empirically found the principles for a good marriage. That enables me to give a pretty precise prognosis for the couple in front of me and also gives me the tools for seeing very quickly what they need in order to thrive. And: the couples who did counselling based on his principles are half as likely to fail again! What is your benefit? A scientifically based method that works just wonderfully!
Another teacher of mine is David Schnarch. How can you benefit from his findings? He gives you back your power to act! He transforms the feeling of helplessness into the feeling of self-responsibility and the ability to actively change the situation. His „Crucible Couples and Sexual Therapy“ thus is a completely different approach in comparison to most couple therapy methods.
And last but not least I always integrated the latest research in neuroscience and, if necessary, work with additional methods like hypnotherapy, EMDR or NLP.
If I wasn’t able to answer all of your questions in this brief overview, don’t hesitate to contact me. If everything is clear, let’s go for it! If you want, we can have a free 15 minute intense initial talk on the telephone. Or we start right away with a first session. I don’t have a minimum number of sessions required, you decide each time if you want to come back.
My private practice for relationships and other matters of the heart is downtown west in Charlottenburg, and can also be reached easily if you are from other parts of the city like Mitte, Steglitz, Spandau or Prenzlauer Berg, either by public transportation (U7/U2/S-Bahn Charlottenburg) or by car (parking garage of the „Wilmersdorfer Arkaden“ in short walking distance).
Call me: 030-854 01770, or use the contact form. I am looking forward to working with you soon!